Romans 12:16-18
“16Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
17Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Anyone else got the AMBER Alert setting turned on their smartphone? You know, the one that someone geniusly decided should notify us when a kid gets snatched… approximately 752 miles away. Because apparently, I’m going to leap out of bed, fire up the Brokemobile, and personally hunt down the villain in another time zone.
As a disclaimer: while a pain at time, these alerts serve an important and meaningful purpose by getting abducted children back to those who love them and care for them, and in this case, the children were found within a short period of time.
But in the spirit of humor and whininess, these alerts are truly special, though. They feature a sound that can only be described as a cross between a dying pterodactyl and an air raid siren. And, of course, they’re programmed to go off exclusively at 2 a.m.—right in the middle of your deepest REM sleep.
So I picture poor ol’ Bill, some poor schlump just dreaming away. In the dream, he’s in a hot tub, sipping champagne with Ana De Armas (one of the most beautiful actresses in show business today). Ana leans in, locks eyes with him, and breathlessly whispers, “Bill… I’m so into you. Tell me, how do you feel about me?” Bob opens his mouth, about to deliver the line of his life… when suddenly:
SQUAAAAAAAWWWWWK!!! SQUAAAAAAAWWWWWK!!! SQUAAAAAAAWWWWWK!!! SQUAAAAAAAWWWWWK!!!
Bill’s celebrity date with Ana ends, and Ana evaporates into thin air, the hot tub vanishes, and he’s left staring at the ceiling, heart pounding like he just escaped a bear attack, wondering why he has all the luck. He probably says, “Thanks, smartphone. I’ll definitely get right on that kidnapping case… after I recover from cardiac arrest.”
As for me, I wasn’t dreaming sipping champagne in a hot tub with beautiful Ana, but I was enjoying some premium sleep. You know, the kind where you’re perfectly cocooned in blankets, the house is quiet, and everything just feels right with the world. I don’t bother running the heat at night because I live in a newer home with good insulation. The temp drops to a brisk-but-cozy mid-60s, and a couple of fuzzy blankets make it perfect. Throw in two dogs sprawled across the bed like furry little space heaters, and I’m snug as a bug in a rug.
And there I was, happily snoozing, when BAM! Out of nowhere, that infamous AMBER Alert sound blares through the room like the fire drill horn in school. I shot up, kicked the blankets off, sent the dogs airborne, and did a quick internal bladder check to ensure everything stayed… contained. I reached over and grabbed my phone, and after all that, after all of the agony, after the chest pain and cold sweat, and after checking where the dogs landed, I realized that it wasn’t my phone that went off. I had turned off my alarms ages ago! The alert came through my wife’s phone! And what did she do? She responded to the alert by saying, “mmm…what’s that…ugh…zzzzzzz…” And that was it! She was awake for a total of 2.5 seconds. So not fair!
Crisis averted, but I made a precautionary trip to the bathroom just in case. When I got back, I had to rebuild my blanket fortress and apologize to the dogs, who were still giving me sad-eye for their unexpected zero-gravity experience. After a couple of rubs and scratches (for the dogs) and bribing them with a couple of dog biscuits (easy payoff), I slid back into bed, buried myself into the blankets, but now lay awake, staring at the ceiling like poor Bill after his hot tub dream shattered. Since sleep wasn’t happening, I grabbed my phone to investigate what on earth was so urgent.
Turns out, a mom—who I’m guessing has a standing reservation at the local courthouse—decided it was the perfect time to take her kids on an impromptu 2 a.m. joyride (destination: Mexico, probably). The alert didn’t go out until 45 minutes later, waking up half the state, including me, 752 miles away… wait, nope, scratch that, it was only 75 miles away. But still!
I grumbled to myself about people and their questionable life choices. Here she was, heading toward jail with plenty of time to rethink her decisions, while I was left trying to piece my night back together.
But no, my night wasn’t done playing games with me. Just as I started to drift off, my wife—bless her heart—began coughing up a storm (she’s fighting a cold), and when that finally settled, my back decided to join the fun with a random twinge. Once that subsided, my bladder chimed in again, reminding me it was time for round two in the bathroom. By the time I finally got back into bed and started to relax, it was about 5 a.m. And just as I slipped back into dreamland… my dreams were literally about me trying to go to sleep. That’s right, folks—dream insomnia. Can’t win for losing.
Meanwhile, 75 miles to the north, I’m left wondering why every crazy decision someone makes somehow ends with me losing sleep. Moral of the story? Life might be unpredictable, but at least I’ve got blankets, dogs, and a bladder that (mostly) holds steady under pressure.
As for that mom? Well, she’s now sitting in a jail cell, probably pondering the concept of living in harmony with others—or at least how to make better choices that don’t involve late-night road trips and statewide wake-up calls. But her kids were found safe and hopefully they can be put in a better situation until mom can get her life in order. Of course, I’m only seeing one part of the drama, but based on what I’ve read, maybe she could learn something from Romans 12:16-18…
Romans 12:16 - Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.
Living in harmony with one another, when we think about it for a second, is like one giant potluck. Everyone’s bringing something different to the table—some people bring the main course, others bring the potato salad, and yes, someone always shows up with a suspicious-looking casserole—with raisins. But if we all work together and stop judging each other’s cooking, we’ve got ourselves a feast.
One of the first rules of harmony is to not be proud. I know, I know, we all know someone who thinks they’re God’s gift to the world. Let’s not be that person. God thinks we’re great and He loves us as we are, but everyone else is the same in His eyes. But imagine a world where people stopped flexing their achievements and started listening to one other. That’s when harmony starts to happen—when people realize they’re not the solo act, but part of an amazing ensemble.
And speaking of being humble, when it says to be willing to associate with people of low position, it means to not just hang out with people who make us look good on Instagram. Sometimes the one who has the real wisdom is the janitor who’s seen everything, or the guy at the diner who pours our coffee at Denny’s with a smile every morning. One of my dearest friends, Dave, worked in lawn care at the local university for years. During the day, he would talk to many young people and educators, sharing his faith with many over the years. And if they were fortunate, students would sometimes get a ride in his golf cart when they were running late from one end of campus to another (my own daughter even got a ride when she was a student there)! His caring for others will leave a lasting impact in many people’s lives. People like Dave are the unsung heroes of life. Many of life’s millionaires were once poor kids who learned their skills by pouring water and clearing tables at restaurants where successful businessmen would dine. Associating with people from all walks of life keeps you grounded, opens your eyes, and teaches you things you’ll never learn in your fancy circles.
As for not being conceited, it’s like showing up to a potluck with a plate of store-bought cookies and acting like Martha Stewart. At least when I bring KFC to the potluck, I always say “I slaved over a hot cash register counter as I ordered this bucket!” Confidence is fine, but arrogance is a vibe killer. If or when we’re walking around thinking, “Wow, I’m just better than everyone else,” let’s be clear: We are definitely not as cool as we think. Humility, on the other hand, is like the secret sauce of life—it makes us approachable, lovable, and fun to be around. Something to remember: living in harmony isn’t just for other people—it’s for all of us too. When we let go of pride and connect with people, our lives gets richer. We’ll laugh more, learn more, and realize that every person, no matter where they’re from or what they’ve been through, has something unique to offer.
So, what does this harmony thing look like in practice? Maybe it’s letting someone merge in traffic without snarling, “You’re welcome,” under our breath. Or sitting with that coworker at lunch who always eats tuna sandwiches (despite the smell). Or even just smiling at the grumpy cashier who’s clearly having a rough day. God’s not asking us to be perfect; He’s asking us to be intentional. Let’s choose kindness, humility, and understanding. Harmony doesn’t happen by accident—it happens when we put our egos aside and recognize that we’re all in this crazy, beautiful symphony together. So, let’s just go ahead and live in harmony, be humble, and love everyone—even the people who bring casseroles with raisins. The world needs our kindness, not our ego.
Romans 12:17 - Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone.
This is good advice: Don’t repay anyone evil for evil. Let’s be clear. When someone does us wrong, we can’t take things upon ourselves like they do on “Yellowstone,” where the Dutton clan takes justice into their own hands, and disposes the evidence down at the “Train Station.” None of us have a train station to travel to in order to take care of our problems. So, when someone cuts us off in traffic, or steals our parking spot, or takes the last donut at work (normally, I’d be the donut snagger), our first instinct might be “Train Station.” Well, maybe only me, but for most everyone else, it’s probably not to present them with a plaque for outstanding character. And in this case, the Bible’s saying, “Whoa, hold up, Rip—don’t go planning that trip to the Train Station right now.”
Why are we not to do such a thing? Because sinking to someone else’s level is like wrestling a pig. You both get dirty, but the pig actually enjoys it. Sure, it might feel satisfying for two seconds to hear them squeal, but in the long run, it only makes the situation worse. The pig could bite, kick, or even poop on us. Kind of like revenge—which functions like a boomerang—it always seems to come back and bonk us on the head. Instead, let’s be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. Now, does that mean we have to please every single person on Earth? No…that’s impossible. But it does mean aiming to be the kind of person who radiates kindness and integrity—someone who makes others think, “Wow, they handled that way better than I would have!” Basically, it’s to be the person who doesn’t flip out when their coffee order is wrong. To be the calm in the storms of life.
Life is full of people doing evil, annoying, or downright ridiculous things. We can’t control what they do, but we can control how we respond. And if we respond with grace, kindness, or even just a good-natured shrug, we’ll stand out like a beacon of light in a world full of grudge-holders. When we’re at the grocery store and someone’s cart bumps into ours, we have two choices. Bump their cart right back and start a passive-aggressive bumper car battle in the frozen food aisle. Or, smile and say “No worries!” and move on with our day. Besides, the first option will likely put us on You Tube with a title including the word “Karen.” Does this mean that we have to allow people to walk over us? No, not even. We can still set boundaries and stand up for ourselves, but it’s possible to do it with kindness instead of turning it into a TikTok fail.
When we choose not to repay evil for evil, we free ourselves. We’re no longer weighed down by the stress of plotting revenge or stewing in anger. We’re just out here, living our best lives, while people wonder why they couldn’t ruin our day. Just remember that people are put on this earth to bless us and to test us, and while it’s always easy to get an “A” on the “bless test,” but it’s always a mystery how we’ll score on the “test” test. Hopefully, we can get an “A” on that as well and give the other Karens an idea of heaven on earth!
Romans 12:18 - If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
This gem from Romans tells us to live at peace with everyone…if it is possible, and as far as it depends on us. It sounds simple except…people. People are complicated. Some of us have neighbors who park their big rig in front of our house or play music in their back yard at 6 a.m. on the first day of a three-day weekend, or maybe have a relative who so politically skewed that everything offends them. But the verse says, “if it is possible.” God knows some folks make this a tall order. Yet the point is to do our part. Of course, we’re not responsible for the chaos other people bring to the table, but we are responsible for not flipping the table over in frustration.
Think of it this way: peace is like a group project. We can’t control what everyone else is doing—someone might not even show up—but we can make sure our part is solid. But if we’re the ones poking our fingers into the middle of all the sliders on the serving table, we’d do well to think twice. By doing things “as far as it depends on you,” we’re reminded to handle our business. If there’s tension, it’s up to us to do what we can to smooth things out. Let me share a couple of examples from my family archives, where "smoothing things out" took on some colorful interpretations:
Years ago, my grandfather in San Antonio passed away, and I traveled to Texas to attend his funeral. My poor grandmother was grieving the loss of her partner in crime of 45 years when her sister-in-law, my great aunt Natalia, decided to make an appearance. Now, Aunt Natalia wasn’t just showing up—she was showing out. She had already lost her own husband (my grandmother’s brother) years earlier, and for some reason, that entitled her to spew insults about men in general. At the rosary service, she went on a tirade, criticizing her late husband, my grandfather, and apparently all men since the dawn of time. “Men are pigs,” she declared, while my grieving grandmother sat there in stunned disbelief.
Finally, Grandma had enough. In an uncharacteristic outburst (in public at least—at home she was always slapping my grandpa when he’d try to get frisky), she angrily snapped and yelled at Aunt Natalia to leave her alone. Needless to say, the tension was thick, and my mom’s side of the family—always interesting—hit a new level of “unforgettable” that day.
Fast forward five years, and I was back in San Antonio, this time for my mother’s funeral. She had passed away suddenly at the age of 51, which sent us all reeling. This time, it wasn’t just me; my brothers also made the trip. My stepfather, Gery, was an absolute rock. He rose to the occasion, handling every detail with grace and care. But one thing made him nervous: Aunt Natalia. Would she show up and make a scene again?
Sure enough, she did. She marched right up to the funeral home, ready to bring her special brand of chaos. But this time, my brothers and I were ready. We intercepted her at the door and politely informed her that she wasn’t welcome at the service. Not one to take rejection well, Aunt Natalia tried to muscle her way inside. That’s when my brother David and I each grabbed an elbow, lifted her clean off the ground (she wasn’t very big), and carried her out to the parking lot.
Picture this: Aunt Natalia, feet dangling, being escorted out like an unruly bachelorette party guest by two big Mexicans. Once we set her down, she huffed, puffed, and stormed off, “beatin’ feet” down the street. To this day, that’s the last we saw of her.
So yes, handling our business and smoothing things out is important, even if it sometimes means literally removing the problem. Maybe that looks like apologizing when we’re not entirely at fault (for the record, we did apologize to Aunt Natalia as we carried her out), or maybe it’s biting our tongues when someone’s opinion is objectively ridiculous. The goal isn’t to win; it’s to keep the peace. And honestly, sometimes keeping the peace is the ultimate power move.
Now, let’s get real: some people just don’t want peace. They thrive on drama like it’s their morning coffee. That’s why this verse is so brilliant. God isn’t asking us to be saintly doormats. He’s saying, “Do your best. If peace doesn’t happen, at least it’s not on you.” That’s freeing! We can sleep easy knowing we gave it our all—no guilt, no regrets, and no late-night overthinking (though I’ll admit, retelling the Aunt Natalia story never gets old).
Next time life throws a curveball—whether it’s a barista who gets our coffee order wrong, a coworker who swipes the last donut, or a relative who shows up to make a scene—remember this: we’re called to be the calm in the chaos. Defuse the tension, don’t fuel the fire. And if keeping the peace means one person stomps off mad instead of upsetting the whole crowd, so be it. The excitement of the day might just be to watch them “beat feet” out of our space, leaving us with some peace of mind—and a pretty good story to tell.
More to come…
A Broke Evangelist – December 16, 2024
On the web: A Broke Evangelist
